


When Clark Lost a Bet

by methylene (Glommus)



Series: The Justice League Have a Great Time (Mostly) [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Ridiculousness, complete and utter crack, could be seen as shippy I guess so I tagged it but really it's not, justice league having too much fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-02
Updated: 2017-06-02
Packaged: 2018-11-08 01:46:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11071473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glommus/pseuds/methylene
Summary: The League are having an epic slumber party and Clark loses a bet. Shenanigans ensue.





	When Clark Lost a Bet

**Author's Note:**

> -Rated teen for language and absolutely nothing else. I've always thought it suited Clark's character to swear like a sailor. Kind of opposite from what you'd think, but hey, headcanons cost nothing ;)  
> -Unbeta'd, I kinda suck at writing to begin with, and this is the first thing I've posted online. Just a little thing I wrote out when I had an urge to write. Cheers!  
> -As always, I own none of these characters, universes, or literally anything associated with DC comics. I simply enjoy putting them in ridiculous situations.

Clark stood (or rather, floated) by the edge of the roof of the Planet, feeling worse than he was sure he ever had (okay, that wasn't true, he was beginning to sound as dramatic as Bruce).  
Honestly, he thought to himself, things could've gone much worse. And he still remembered the way he'd felt when he and Lois had made the mutual decision to take some time apart. It hadn't felt good, but he knew they both needed it. Thinking about it critically, though, he was pretty sure that had felt worse than he was feeling now.  
Probably. After all, what was one lost bet? It couldn’t be that bad, could it?

“Absolutely not. You’re going through with this.”  
Bruce was a little shit, in Clark’s mind. Sure, they’d been through a lot together and there were very few others he felt closer to than the guy, but he still had a sense of humor that Clark struggled to read sometimes. Evidently, now was one of those times.  
“You’re going to do that interview because you lost, fair and square.” Bruce looked so pleased with himself. He really drove Clark insane sometimes.  
“I am so here for this,” Barry put in, half-falling into a chair in the massive room in the Watchtower the whole of the Justice League had been hanging out in for the better part of an hour. Hal reached over and gave his shoulder a shove, effectively preventing him from falling on his face to the floor.  
“I don’t even know why I’m still here,” Arthur complained, giving his nails a once-over.  
“Because you love us. And we love you. And even though we told you there was an emergency and there kind of wasn’t it still got you here so we could have Victor bring us pizza and gossip like the fucking teenage girls we all are,” Clark said with exactly one breath.  
“Whatever,” Arthur said, attempting to sound pissed off and failing miserably. He turned his attention back to Diana to resume their conversation about hair-care products, which Diana knew about because her hair was flawless and Arthur knew about because he was in constant pursuit of even a fraction of the epicness she achieved without even trying.  
“You’re trying to change the subject,” Bruce interjected, bringing Clark’s attention back to his stupid beautiful face.  
“What the fuck,” Clark said. “I didn’t think we were actually being serious.”  
“What the fuck yourself,” Bruce fired back. “I literally said, ‘I bet you can’t follow that commercial airplane without any of the passengers or staff noticing,’ and then you said, ‘you’re on,’ and then I said “if I win you have to do anything I say,’ and then you said-”  
“Okay, I get it, we weren’t joking. But still. This is ridiculous.”  
“It’s not ridiculous. All I told you to do was call a press conference at your own newspaper.”  
“Yeah, except I have to wear an earpiece and say everything you tell me to.”  
“Minor details.”  
“Be a good sport, Clark. Stop being a turd-ocular periscope.” Diana scolded him, giving him a rather intimidating look, whilst high-fiving Arthur for that sick-ass burn. “We all want to see this.”  
“There won’t be anything to see, Diana.” Clark said in his sassiest voice. This was a showdown. “It’s a newspaper.”  
“So I’ll film it. Whatever.”  
Clark ignored her. “I am absolutely not doing it tonight, then. If I have to do this, we’re at least finishing our night in first. Where the hell is Victor?”  
“Always needs the last word,” Bruce mocked under his breath, fully aware that Clark could hear every word.

“You think too loud.”  
Ugh. “Bruce, you can’t read my thoughts any more than I can see through buildings.”  
“You can see through buildings, Clark.”  
Clark didn’t really have a response to that. Well, not one that wouldn’t be far too telling about his train of thought.  
“...Regardless, I’ve known you for long enough to be able to read you quite well. And you’re thinking that whatever I have you say in this interview, it can’t be that bad.”  
“Guilty.”  
“I just wanted to let you know that it absolutely will not be easy on you.”  
“Love you too, Bruce.”

It wasn’t.

Clark flew straight to Wayne Manor after the disaster at the Planet, feeling only slightly livid.  
“What the fuck. What the fuck.” Clark muttered as he landed, walking straight into Dick, who happened to be exiting the manor.  
“Whoa, dude! Take it easy! I’d rather you didn’t murder my adoptive father.” Dick said jovially, beaming and grabbing Clark (who was looking just a little unsteady) by the shoulder to steady him.  
“I think I might be in shock.”  
“I think you might be right,” A voice much deeper than Dick’s sounded behind the two of them. Bruce walked forward, leaning against the doorframe and placing his hand on the other side to form a kind of blockade.  
“Are you shitting me. Did I really just do that?”  
Bruce grinned. “I believe you did. Congrats, boy scout, you just told your own newspaper an epic tale of utter ridiculousness that had absolutely no significant weight or consequence.”  
“They’re gonna think you were drunk, dude.” Dick put in with a grin. “Anyway, I gotta head. Thanks, Pops!” Dick called as he jumped past Clark to the front walk.  
Bruce leveled Clark a look, amusement clear in his eyes. They stared at each other for a moment, Bruce amused and Clark befuddled.  
“So are you going to come in, or what?”


End file.
